Parallel Youths

Kids can be hilarious. No really, they can. At work we got in a new shipment of stuffed dinosaur toys. Adorable T-Rex and Triceratops stuffies have invaded the gift shop. So this kid, he couldn't have been over 10, came in today for his birthday, and his mum said he could get ONE toy. He then proceeded to take both a T-Rex and Triceratops, which clearly wasn't allowed, so he stood by my desk for a solid 15 minutes and weighed the pros and cons of each toy. 

"The T-Rex is brown, but the Triceratops is blue!"

"This one eats vegetables, which are good, but this one eats meat, which is better!"

"He has tiny arms that are funny, but this one has four legs!!"

Seriously, he had the most brilliant reasoning I have heard in a while, and I read Voltaire for fun. After some intense real-life decision making, he finally picked his toy and went on his way. Perfect example of a hilarious, adorable child. 

Too bad not all kids are like this. The rest are just like me when I was younger: bratty to the core. I'm talking flailing around on the ground, temper tantrum to the max, screaming until their parent's ears bleed crazy. Yep, that was me. 

I hate these kids. I want to shake them and tell them to shut up. 

No, you can't have that candy. No, you can't run around with no shoes on. No, you can't throw toys at that other kid you don't know, and you can't try to steal them either. 

Yes, you can call me a hypocrite for acting like this as a child, but you know what? I don't act like that anymore, because I had what many children refer to as "the meanest mum in the world!" She had so many rules, and I never had any fun. And you know what else? It made me a better person. 

I may have hated my parents growing up, but man, do I ever appreciate them for it now. I can't tell you how happy I am that I didn't turn out to be some spoiled rotten bratty 20-something-year old. I hate those kids too. No, having mean parents was awesome. So for all those new parents out there with bratty kids, be mean to them! Restrict their sugar intake, make them watch age appropriate shows and don't let them out of your sight. You will thank yourself now, and they will thank you one day.